Pregnancy: The good, The bad, and The ugly

Pregnancy can be a beautiful time, a time of bonding with a tiny person nestled deep inside, a time of excitement and celebration, but not everything about pregnancy is beautiful…

1. Breasts:
   1. The good- They grow, a lot. Like to the breasts I always wanted, but thought I would need a surgeon to get.
   2. The bad- They hurt! During the first trimester especially, your breasts ache so much you have to shield them from the water in the shower and enact a hands-off policy with your man.
   3. The ugly- They leak! Not just starting after childbirth, but starting from as early as mid-way through your pregnancy.
2. Your body:
   1. The good- You get JLo quality curves. The kind that makes you do a double take in the mirror as you walk by and your man wants to spend some quality time with.
   2. The bad- You start to sweat, no not glisten- sweat. The kind that requires you to invest in a stronger antiperspirant because nothing is worse then raising your arm mid-day and wondering what that smell is.
   3. The ugly- You leak, no not just from your breasts, from your lady parts. And the closer you get to term the more you leak. To the point you have to wear panty liners or bring underwear changes because you constantly feel like you peed yourself… and sometimes you do pee yourself. Like when you cough, sneeze, laugh, or get up from the couch.
3. Your wardrobe:
   1. The good- You get to go shopping, guilt free and buy yourself a whole new closet of clothes! This was something I was super excited about, I was all about flaunting my baby bump.
   2. The bad- There is this awkward transition period when you’re showing just enough that you feel fat and bloated, but not enough that anyone thinks your pregnant. Nothing fits! The maternity clothes are too large and your old clothes are too tight and uncomfortable.
   3. The ugly- One day you wake up and feel like a beached whale! Your baby had a growth spurt and you discover the hard way that you don’t fit into the corner booth at your favorite restaurant like you once did. You finally fit into the maternity clothes you bought and relish the comfort of that huge belly panel in your mom jeans; but you are embarrassed when you see the look of shock and horror on your man’s face when he wonders why your pants go up to your arm-pits.
4. Sex:
   1. The good- The orgasms are amazing! Once you get over the terrors of the first trimester and want some cuddle time again, get ready! The increased blood flow means increased sensitivity. This translates into stronger, more intense, or maybe even multiple orgasms.
   2. The bad- Your beautiful growing baby, means a growing belly that can make your favorite positions uncomfortable or down-right impossible.
   3. The ugly- Orgasm and breast stimulation may lead to your man getting sprayed by that breast leakage we were talking about earlier…
5. Sleep:
   1. The good- Early in pregnancy you can sleep anywhere, I’m talking curled up in the back seat, middle seat of the airplane- ANYWHERE.
   2. The bad- Late in pregnancy there is absolutely nothing you can do to get comfortable. It doesn’t matter how many pillows you have, every part of your body is exhausted and constantly aching.
   3. The ugly- You now snore… The increased blood flow to your nasal passages result in swelling and congestion. This means you’re not the only one who is now sleep deprived. As soon as you get in a sweet spot and fall asleep you wake up to your man elbowing you because he can’t take your  chain-saw snoring any longer…. even with the ear plugs. (I suggest breathe right strips =) )

Pregnancy is a beautiful, exciting time. Thankfully, the first time you feel the baby kick, hear the hearbeat, or see your little one during an ultrasound make all the gross, uncomfortable, and unattractive parts worth it.

Thanks for stopping by!