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Managing Life After Miscarriage; You are Not Alone

Blog Post· Miscarriage and Loss· Most Popular

3/23
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When we decided to have our first baby, things worked like clockwork. We conceived in just a few short months and aside from significant morning sickness, the pregnancy was perfect. I never imagined trying to give Luke a sibling would bring me to such a difficult place. If you have been following my story, you know I had a miscarriage in July. What you may not know is I had three consecutive miscarriages in 2017. July, October, and December; my world repeatedly came crashing down. Three times I was overjoyed as I pictured my newborn’s cherub cheeks, and three times my heart shattered when the bleeding began. Life after miscarriage has been incredibly hard. Each time I would wrack my brain trying to figure out what I could do differently. I eliminated caffeine, avoided all exercise, virtually maintained bed-rest for the first few weeks following my positive pregnancy test, and changed all the cleaners in my house to non-toxic. After the second loss I saw a fertility specialist who started me on daily Aspirin and Progesterone following ovulation. I was positive we had a successful plan in place; after all, more than two consecutive miscarriages is VERY rare. When I woke up in a pool of blood on Christmas morning I crumbled into sobs. What is wrong with me? I cried and pled with God, begging Him to save my baby. Soon a peace set in and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my journey may be unbearably painful, but the story isn’t over yet. I WILL have a healthy baby; I just need to figure out how. Life after miscarriage is heartbreaking, but I choose to believe there are brighter days ahead.

At this point, I learned that having three consecutive miscarriages labels me as a repeat aborter and qualified me for a full workup to determine why. My fertility specialist ordered several blood tests and a special x-ray (HSG) to evaluate for clotting disorders, genetic mutations, and anatomic anomalies. All our tests returned as normal. My brain spun. I’m normal, but I keep loosing my babies. My anxiety was overwhelming, what if we cannot fix this. What if…

At our next meeting my fertility specialist laid out our plan. The next step, in addition to what I am already doing, following ovulation I will do daily injections of the blood thinner called Lovenox. Our current belief is that my body is forming tiny blood clots preventing my babies from thriving. Prior to our meeting I assumed she would be adding to my regimen, so I was relieved when she added the shots. I needed to be doing something to prevent another loss. However, I must say I totally underestimated how difficult it would be to give myself injections! I thought “I’m a doctor—this will be easy.” WRONG! Willingly causing yourself pain is tough! The needle hurts, the medicine stings for several minutes, and then large bruises form where the injection is given. Terrible! Mentally I know that once I have our rainbow baby on board it will suddenly become easier, but for now, every day is a mental and emotional battle. Not to mention I am begging God nightly to let us conceive a healthy baby quickly so I can do the fewest shots possible (I start the injections a few days after ovulation each month).

Life after miscarriage looks nothing like what thought. After my first month of shots I was convinced we had been successful. I had taken all my medications, and we had timed everything we were supposed to in order to conceive. So when I started spotting I refused to believe it and insisted on taking a pregnancy test also. NEGATIVE. I was crushed! I cried and started to get angry, when suddenly a peace came over me and I just knew God was telling me that my body has been through incredible trauma and I need to accept that it needs this time to heal.

So this is where I am. Each month I take my medications and injections after ovulation and pray for a positive pregnancy test. My hands shake as I unwrap the test and I fight nausea with my intense anxiety waiting for the result. When will my month come?

MY MISCARRIAGE STORY

“I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born,” says the Lord. Isaiah 66:9

My first Lovenox injection. I don’t know how many I will have to do, so I documented the first.

This is what my stomach looked like after my first round of shots.

Thanks for stopping by!

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Patricia Bast DO

Dr. Patricia Bast was born and raised in Southern California. She earned a bachelors degree in science at UC Irvine, then went on to graduate medical school from Touro University College of Osteopathic Medicine in Northern California. After several years working as a pediatrician Dr. Bast choose to expand her training to include lactation consultant. Dr. Bast is now raising her children and taking care of patients in beautiful Georgia.

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I am sad the Christmas season is ending, there is I am sad the Christmas season is ending, there is so much magic watching children experience all the beautiful joy 💕 
Isabella was a little uncertain about Santa this year. She LOVED talking to him but didn’t want to sit on his lap for more than 30 seconds. Noah on the other hand was his biggest fan. Luke is learned why all the Santa’s look different 😅
All my life my heart longed for a baby girl. This All my life my heart longed for a baby girl. This precious girl has changed and grown our family in all the best ways. I can hardly remember what life was like without her strong firey personality in it.
Motherhood has been hard, so incredibly challenging, but it is also the most incredible journey I have ever been on! 

Pictured in the @bravadodesigns Beaucoup nursing bra, very comfortable and supportive enough to wear all day.
It happens so quickly, the beautiful Fall colors a It happens so quickly, the beautiful Fall colors are disappearing and winter’s cold temperatures are taking over Georgia. Just last week we were making leaf piles and wearing shorts. Now we hide in doors under blankets and search for ways to entertain tiny balls of energy. 
Sweet Isabella woke up in the wee hours with her first stomach bug. My heart breaks for her. What are your favorite ways to heal upset tummies? And to entertain siblings stuck indoors?
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This year I really struggled with the decision between homeschool and public school. For so many reasons my heart lies with homeschooling, but in the end we chose to let the boys choose and they both desired to be with their friends in public school. 

What type of schooling have you chosen for your kids and why?
As the parent of a child with a rare medical diagn As the parent of a child with a rare medical diagnosis, going to the doctor is very uncomfortable. While Noah is doing extremely well his specialist ends all her sentences with phrases like “for now” or “at the moment”. It’s like she refuses to even hope that he will thrive. Yes, realistic expectations are important, but the facts are that Noah’s genetics are exceptionally rare and nobody knows what he will accomplish. 
So today I choose joy, joy that he is still with us, joy that he is catching up in every way, and JOY that I am blessed to be his mama and learn so much from him. 
#musculardystrophy
A few months ago Isabella turned 1 year old! She i A few months ago Isabella turned 1 year old! She is bright, beautiful, hilarious, and compassionate. She says “mama”, “dada”, “hi”, and “bye”. Her brothers adore her and love making her laugh. Bella is still a great sleeper, and eating is her favorite. She is starting to take her first steps and we are excited to watch her grow! 

When did your babies walk?

(I took these photos at 12mo old, but my phone has been having technical difficulties and I couldn’t post them.)

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I am sad the Christmas season is ending, there is I am sad the Christmas season is ending, there is so much magic watching children experience all the beautiful joy 💕 
Isabella was a little uncertain about Santa this year. She LOVED talking to him but didn’t want to sit on his lap for more than 30 seconds. Noah on the other hand was his biggest fan. Luke is learned why all the Santa’s look different 😅
All my life my heart longed for a baby girl. This All my life my heart longed for a baby girl. This precious girl has changed and grown our family in all the best ways. I can hardly remember what life was like without her strong firey personality in it.
Motherhood has been hard, so incredibly challenging, but it is also the most incredible journey I have ever been on! 

Pictured in the @bravadodesigns Beaucoup nursing bra, very comfortable and supportive enough to wear all day.
It happens so quickly, the beautiful Fall colors a It happens so quickly, the beautiful Fall colors are disappearing and winter’s cold temperatures are taking over Georgia. Just last week we were making leaf piles and wearing shorts. Now we hide in doors under blankets and search for ways to entertain tiny balls of energy. 
Sweet Isabella woke up in the wee hours with her first stomach bug. My heart breaks for her. What are your favorite ways to heal upset tummies? And to entertain siblings stuck indoors?
It has been a busy week! Luke started 1st grade an It has been a busy week! Luke started 1st grade and Noah returned to his special needs preschool (he goes 2 days/wk). 

This year I really struggled with the decision between homeschool and public school. For so many reasons my heart lies with homeschooling, but in the end we chose to let the boys choose and they both desired to be with their friends in public school. 

What type of schooling have you chosen for your kids and why?

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