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Unexpected Changes After Miscarriage

Blog Post· Miscarriage and Loss

12/31
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This year I have suffered two miscarriages, while I knew it was going to be emotionally difficult, I have been blindsided by the shock waves it has sent through my life. My joy of learning we were expecting was tremendous and watching those hopes crumble tore me apart. What I did not expect was how significant and lasting the hormonal and physical changes after miscarriage have been.
 
  • Suddenly I am very sensitive when people ask if Luke is my only child. I don’t know if I should say yes, no because I now have two babies in Heaven, or simply cry.
  • Newborns now fill me with a sense of longing like something is missing, I have also cried upon seeing pregnant woman, and at baby announcements.
  • Weight gain. Even though I lost both babies in the first trimester, they left significant impacts on my body. At first I thought I was simply swelling from the trauma of miscarriage, but now I believe the hormonal swing affected my metabolism causing sudden significant weight gain that is taking months to normalize again.
  • Significant body self consciousness. Before we lost our first baby in July I felt good when looking in the mirror. Now I feel betrayal and notice the unsightly soft bumpy curves; the same shape that represented a growing baby just weeks prior are now hollow reminders that my womb is empty.
  • My dreams now haunt me, over the 6 months since my first loss I have had at least 5 dreams of being pregnant or holding my new newborn baby. Every time, I wake with my arms aching to hold my baby.
  • Initially, I was very open and shared my journey with strangers whom asked. Now I hate talking about it… All too often people’s comments cause far more pain then comfort.
  • I now understand that the impression this kind of loss leaves does not quickly heal, it scars you forever. I also have learned that people don’t understand this, they expect you to just “wait a while and try again”… As though my miscarriage is simply a failed attempt to create life instead of a tragic loss so soon.
  • Every time you have your period is now triggers a form of PTSD, I cry and ache for the babies I have lost.
  • Finally, I have found that with each loss my aching for a healthy baby intensifies, but now it is accompanied by fear that nothing is guaranteed.
 
Miscarriage and loss of a child are the most painful experiences I can imagine. For that reason people often avoid talking about them. However, for complete healing to occur that pain needs to be brought into the light and shared. Mourning the loss of an unborn baby is healthy and should not be shamed no matter how early the loss occurs. There are significant changes after miscarriage. For all of you whom have also known this pain, I stand with you as I pray for our children and our rainbow babies!
 
 
 
Some verses that have brought me comfort:
 
“I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born,” says the Lord.
Isaiah 66:9
 
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.
Jeremiah 1:5
 
I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4
 
He has made everything beautiful in it’s time.
Ecclesiastes 3:11
 
 
MY MISCARRIAGE STORY
 
 
Beautiful rainbow swaddle by:  littlebigbee.com

Thanks for stopping by!

Your Name
Patricia Bast DO

Dr. Patricia Bast was born and raised in Southern California. She earned a bachelors degree in science at UC Irvine, then went on to graduate medical school from Touro University College of Osteopathic Medicine in Northern California. After several years working as a pediatrician Dr. Bast choose to expand her training to include lactation consultant. Dr. Bast is now raising her children and taking care of patients in beautiful Georgia.

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This year has brought big changes! New house, new This year has brought big changes! New house, new puppy, chickens, and lots of space to play. The best part has been watching these three get closer and have the space to run and ride together 💕

Check out our new little photo wall from @myphototracks the kids love seeing pictures of all their favorite people and the photos are extremely easy to switch out. 

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She was literally screaming “Mama! Mama! Maaamaa She was literally screaming “Mama! Mama! Maaamaaaa!” 🤣🤣🤣
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Noah’s favorites include playdoh, lollipops, cars, legos, music, and art. 
Dislikes include sleeping in and anything that make him feel unsafe. 

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This year has brought big changes! New house, new This year has brought big changes! New house, new puppy, chickens, and lots of space to play. The best part has been watching these three get closer and have the space to run and ride together 💕

Check out our new little photo wall from @myphototracks the kids love seeing pictures of all their favorite people and the photos are extremely easy to switch out. 

#homestead #photowall #siblings #galleywall #chickens #family #motherhood
Instagram post 17887142012981002 Instagram post 17887142012981002
Noah is truly our miracle baby! He was born with t Noah is truly our miracle baby! He was born with the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around his neck resulting in a lack of oxygen. As a result he developed Childhood Apraxia and struggled to speak. Soon after his diagnosis he also began having seizures.  Now at 5yrs old, he is thriving! He is joy and love, compassion and strength! Happy 5th Birthday Noah! Praise God💕
Instagram post 17973178388637014 Instagram post 17973178388637014

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